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Otherwise, Vanessa.
18, and learning to be it

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Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls.

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Saturday, November 19
But I refuse

Every single sem I'm struggling with things.

This sem's may not be that worthwhile and I agree running for it may have been the worst choice I could have made.

But I refuse to let this or any thing else be an excuse for me doing badly.

But I refuse to be an average student.

But I refuse to be substandard.

I know I'm just throwing a tantrum but honestly I can't take another lousy sem. And the fact that this sem may potentially be worse than the previous.

And I'm not doing anything about it.

I'm not studying hard enough. I'm not putting in enough effort. I just don't understand it! I really don't know what's going on. I can't just hope there are people more clueless than me. Because there aren't. And I refused to deal with this disappointment I had in myself until 2 days before it all begins.

I've lost a lot of things along the way. This is something that I should probably be allowed to keep. Please?


The kind of person I am now, I really don't like it. Can I have myself back please.