There's a reason why people don't stay who they are

Saturday, May 14

I feel like some part of my personality is gone.

I used to be really lively, bubbly and chatty.

Now I'm just disinterested or forcing myself to appear happy or that I'm having fun.

I honestly hope this is not part of growing up, this is just phase.

Quite frankly, I miss who I used to be. And I'm such a bore and a pain to be around now.

Friday, May 13

Nevermind, It's okay

I wonder how many more times I can take myself saying that to myself.

But there's nothing else I can do. Right?

Monday, May 9

Summing up!

Nice and succint. My sem2, was a hell of a ride.

Sunday, May 8

Post, delete, Post again

Initially posted this on blogger, deleted it, posted it on livejournal, but decided to post it here also.

Some things are only okay to say to some people.

Because everyone else will never understand.

What is wrong with expecting more?

If you never allow yourself to expect more out of life, you will only ever get so that much.

I expect a lot, but at the same time have you seen how hard I worked for it? Don't make it sound as though 4.63 came by so easily. It did not. Who are you to say that I'll be fine, sure do well? (Well, I mean if I do, thank God) I just cannot comprehend why people, actually everyone, would think like that. In all honesty and fairness, I did put in effort this sem, to the best that I could at least. I don't know if it's enough. But I know when I say I screwed up, I did. Why is that so hard to believe? And especially when you're coping so much better than me. Hypocrite much?

I can never write down in words how much I struggled. How hard it was for me to get by this sem. And I should never forget the people who gave up on me.

By you, I'm not specifically referring to anyone.

Its just everyone in general, so if you happen to read this, don't annoy me with things like "you sure do well one la" in the future. Not everyone likes to hear that.

Ah, just saying la, was getting a bit annoyed. Even if I do well, no thanks to you, so I believe you don't have the right to say told you so.

Okay whatever, just take everything you read with a pinch of salt.

I think the biggest joke this election is not TPL being a MP,

It's how some bimbos are suddenly interested in politics and give their -2cents worth(yeah it's more than worthless)

I mean honestly, since when did you care about our foreign affairs? Singapore bnit going to get bombed. Relax. If you keep looking t the small loss here, PAP won overall still, like duh, you are overlooking the fact that so many people took the chance and leap of faith to go with the opposition. Just so to fight for a voice in parliament. They did what you would never have to balls to do.

And TPL is my MP, not yours, easy for you to say.

And honestly, you think PAP is all that good, get educated. Start reading things that are not the straits times or drawing on your SS knowledge. Or maybe you are just privileged, having benefitted from the system and want status quo to continue benefitting. Then shame on you, so much for one Singapore.

But with that said, I still support PAP, but I believe in change. And the way to get change is to vote the opposition in, send them a message and get them to listen, change from within the PAP. And well, all to bad the only man who kinda responded to that didn't make it. Ok don't want to elaborate, not like you will get it or agree.

Thursday, May 5

Tired

This time I'm tired of living. Truly am.

Not in the I-want-to-end-my-life kinda way.

More like I just no longer have anything to live for. Everything seems like chore, nothing is exciting or remotely fun.

Where am I heading from here?

Sunday, May 1

You Lose

When you fail to guard your heart, you lose.

First step to solving a problem is admitting there's a problem. I'll never be able to move away from this because I'm not ready to talk about it. And I will never be ready. Just waiting for it to die out, then maybe...