The whole time I desperately needed someone to talk to, there wasn't anybody again.

When I finally texted someone, no reply, fine. It was what? 2am in the morning? But was it so hard to text back to ask if Im ok when you could? Am I not worth the effort? Am I so insignificant that when you see, you know that Im in so much pain that you can't pick up your phone to text "Are you okay?"

Fuck twitter ok?

Everyone on twitter is just way too caught up with themselves to really bother about anyone else.

Fine, maybe i'm becoming like that too.

But you think that an @FondantsC is good enough to show that you are really concerned?

You know what, let me just tell you what's wrong.

I work 7 days a week, non-stop, my hands are so dry my fingers are cracked from all the aircon and washing at the shop. My shoulders and back are so pain I can't sleep properly at night. My eyes are swollen from the crying. My mind so fucked up with the lousy family ties I have. By now don't we know we have to stick together? Last night, my brother almost hit my mum, my mum called the police, my brother ran out of the house. All the while I heard. But pretended that I was asleep. Was so tired from walking I sprained my foot missing a step. The tuition kids are not showing much improvement. I am a lousy daughter, a lousy worker who doesn't know how to check for spoilt food. The flu and sore throat comes on and off. The whole day at work was just forced smiles but I knew how bad I looked.

I dont want to love people any more.

I lost hope on humanity, just how many times do you want to tell me that nobody will bother.

So fuck it all ok? It doesn't matter to me anymore. I think by now I know better than to ask for anything at all. Don't say you care. Where were you when I asked for help?

I Lose

I'm feeling crazily defeated.

11:05:00 PM ·