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Fondants C
Otherwise, Vanessa.
18, and learning to be it
Mail Me: creamsfondants-@hotmail.com
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Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls.
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Friday, June 29
Been meaning to post this on Tues but I was super lazy.
For those who are actually couting down to dooms days/end of O's/start of holidays/party days, well, did it occur to you that in 4 months or less we are leaving this place we called school for four years ? Rejoice all you want, but being the emotionally driven sort, I can't help but think how many of these friends we have now are we going to stay in touch with? How many of these classmates we see now are going to go to school with us for another 2/3 years?
Despite many people saying that they hate the school, can't wait to get out, throw away the uniform, doesn't these four years mean something to you? I admit, more often that not, there are awful memories. Why cling on to them? Conflicts, hatred, misery? "Life is short, Time is swift." For me, life wasn't exactly all roses and no thorns. However, Im really going to miss the school loads. The school isn't what that went into constructing the buildings, even the rules. It was that whole level of people you love and loved to hate whom accompanied you through your four years of paper chasing. Imagine in less that a year, you'll be in a place where you no longer know/regconise everybody. And you'll have to start all over again, on that vicious cycle that contributes to our rat race.
Teachers are leaving and coming in so quickly and so soon, by the time we go back for visits, the Zhuang Zhu Lin statue might be the only person you still regconise. In a month, it's farewell to Ms Yew and following, Ms Ng. Four more months later, Its farewell to everyone. The cruel and harsh fact of it all is that, in these four months, how much effort you put in is going to determine where you will be for the rest of your life. someone said to me, "Tomorrow is the beginning of the rest of your life" Its quite true that there's always tomorrow but tomorrow will come so quickly that it is imperceptible. Before long, you would have used up your tomorrows.
For those who are actually couting down to dooms days/end of O's/start of holidays/party days, well, did it occur to you that in 4 months or less we are leaving this place we called school for four years ? Rejoice all you want, but being the emotionally driven sort, I can't help but think how many of these friends we have now are we going to stay in touch with? How many of these classmates we see now are going to go to school with us for another 2/3 years?
Despite many people saying that they hate the school, can't wait to get out, throw away the uniform, doesn't these four years mean something to you? I admit, more often that not, there are awful memories. Why cling on to them? Conflicts, hatred, misery? "Life is short, Time is swift." For me, life wasn't exactly all roses and no thorns. However, Im really going to miss the school loads. The school isn't what that went into constructing the buildings, even the rules. It was that whole level of people you love and loved to hate whom accompanied you through your four years of paper chasing. Imagine in less that a year, you'll be in a place where you no longer know/regconise everybody. And you'll have to start all over again, on that vicious cycle that contributes to our rat race.
Teachers are leaving and coming in so quickly and so soon, by the time we go back for visits, the Zhuang Zhu Lin statue might be the only person you still regconise. In a month, it's farewell to Ms Yew and following, Ms Ng. Four more months later, Its farewell to everyone. The cruel and harsh fact of it all is that, in these four months, how much effort you put in is going to determine where you will be for the rest of your life. someone said to me, "Tomorrow is the beginning of the rest of your life" Its quite true that there's always tomorrow but tomorrow will come so quickly that it is imperceptible. Before long, you would have used up your tomorrows.
Memories are worse than bullets. What's worse is if they drilled through your heart. Much to everyone's dismay, the carefree primary school life that we all so claimed to love is now but one big blur. Soon, your years in Ch*ng Ch*ng(censored due to privacy) will also be a big glob in your memory chamber. They used to tell me, BFFs are made in Secondary school. How many BFFs have I seen drift apart?Im very thankful for the friends I have who laugh, cry, scream, cram and gossip with me.
While we would very likely be pursuing different futures, our paths are winding further and further away from each others.
Man, I think far too much.
Study hard Sec4s.
Wednesday, June 27
Zhuang Chiobu is wrong.
Is MEINU's sister.
And well, Im feeling damn lazy
Filled up with work till I'm being smothered
Also, for some unknown reasons, not in a great. mood.
But still, I love you so much.
I updated(:
Is MEINU's sister.
And well, Im feeling damn lazy
Filled up with work till I'm being smothered
Also, for some unknown reasons, not in a great. mood.
But still, I love you so much.
I updated(:
Sunday, June 24
HomeWork
*English
-1100
-CV
-40 phrases
Chinese
-3 Online papers
-2 Newspaper art.
-1 Composition
*Chemistry
-TenYearSeries
:2001-2005
*Physics
-Practice Paper
-eLearning
*S.studies
-2 SourceBasedQs
*Geography
-5 MCQs
-4 StructuredQs
History.E
-2 SourceBasedQs
-2 StructuredEssayQs
Add.Maths
-FiveYearSeries
:14, 15a, 15c-f
E.Maths
-PrelimPaper
Key:
Blue-Completed
Green- Half done
Red-Not planning on doing
*Gay purple- Urgent!
Saturday, June 23
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I just remembered, I'm married.
I just remembered, I lost my wedding ring.
I just remembered, we had a covenant.
I just remembered, This is a lifelong commitment.
Friday, June 22
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This is the Completed Present.
LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE
Say it's pretty^^
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
You can't live to please everyone, my dear. Especially when you're not even trying to be yourself. How do you expect to find friends that will not judge you when you don't even let them see who you really are inside. Needless to say, find a friend that likes you for all you are. Why do you try so hard to be a clone, when at the end of the day you lose yourself and your dignity. You don't get it do you? No matter how hard you try, you can never learn to think like that particular someone, even if you can speak like she does, behave like she does. You can never be on par but always a step behind. Why? Because you're a clone. The more you go around guessing if others are talking about you, the higher the tendency that they are. So, a word from the heart my dear, is to be somebody you like, not somebody others like. You live the way you want and the rest is up for others to see, not everyone may like you, true. But at least some people will learn to appreciate a character trait unique to yourself. You are who you are, don't force it.
I'm rowdy, I'm loud, I'm tactless. Hate-able.
I'm bubbly, I'm lively, I'm chatty. Loveable.
Look, it is extreme. Whatever is your take on it, I don't care. I can't force anyone to see from my point of view, I don't need you to agree with me. I just want to be me. Now, don't rob me of my rightful right. You can't stand me, don't pretend like you can. You don't like me, don't pretend that you do. It's not fair to you. You need to take a break with all the pretence and deception. It is not neccessay to live to please someone else, to make them like you. And you can drop the competition, no one else is running in your race, they're too caught up in their own.
I don't want to calculate and predict if you'll see this. or speculate if you'll know it's you.
Take care. These are words from my heart.
Thursday, June 21
Guitar Camp
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!Sneaks
Saturday, June 16
Keller let her feet dangle from the window ledge, a good twelve stories from the ground. Letting the Sun's rays warm her scrawny legs. She peered down the alley where she grew up playing. Or where others played with her self esteem. Fear was not a stranger to her. In fact, she knew it too well to have it start to devour her, chewing down on her bit by bit.
Every day is so wonderful then suddenly
It's hard to breathe
Now and then, I get insecure from all the pain
Gently she tapped her feet against the cold air caressing her feet, humming the tune forgotten tune someone had sang to her before. Rabbit face, Rabbit face started to play in her head, disrupting the melody of the song she desperately tried to recall. This label stuck to her from the time she had memory. Somehow, she knew even Mum secretly despised the way she looked. Everytime the other kids pointed their fingers at her, laughing, she would flinch and loosen the hand held by little Keller for a moment so unoticed that maybe even she did not realise. Keller knew, the words hurled at her sharpened her senses. It was little actions like this which mattered. Part of her had been gnawed away, tearing her down. She was susceptible to insults. Confidence left her life the minute Rabbit face came in.
To all your friends, you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness, the pieces gone,
Left the puzzle undone, is that the way it is?
She lifted her fingers to trace her upper lips. Lips that she hoped were there. All her life she avoided mirrors, for they reminded her that she was flawed. The first time her eyes stared into one, she had seen eyes with passion and hope despite the cleft lip. Rabbit Face, Rabbit face Each time these words were spoken she would cry to her reflection wondering why they hated her. Each time, the fire in her eyes dwindled until they were extinguished eventually. She had convinced herself that the words couldn't hurt her anymore, she wouldn't care. But she did, even more than before. The last time she saw the girl crying in the mirror was a year ago. Then, like a silent movie, it all became to come back to her, words started to fill the tune.
You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down, oh no
'Cause you are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring you down, oh
He had stroked the guitar strings gently, locking his eyes with hers and sang those words with more sincerity she had known. She knew he meant it, she knew he meant it. Keller drew her knees to her chest, letting those tears fall after what seemed like the longest time....
Ok, Just felt like writing a short story.
Sermon today was good. So, no 55kg is going to get into my head. Hah.
A wounded soul would be the hardest to repair.
But a tactless mouth is easier to change.
For attractive lips, Speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, Seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, Share your food with the hungry
-Audrey Hepburn
Share food with me!
Tho' actually, I'm really not 55 kg.
Every day is so wonderful then suddenly
It's hard to breathe
Now and then, I get insecure from all the pain
Gently she tapped her feet against the cold air caressing her feet, humming the tune forgotten tune someone had sang to her before. Rabbit face, Rabbit face started to play in her head, disrupting the melody of the song she desperately tried to recall. This label stuck to her from the time she had memory. Somehow, she knew even Mum secretly despised the way she looked. Everytime the other kids pointed their fingers at her, laughing, she would flinch and loosen the hand held by little Keller for a moment so unoticed that maybe even she did not realise. Keller knew, the words hurled at her sharpened her senses. It was little actions like this which mattered. Part of her had been gnawed away, tearing her down. She was susceptible to insults. Confidence left her life the minute Rabbit face came in.
To all your friends, you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness, the pieces gone,
Left the puzzle undone, is that the way it is?
She lifted her fingers to trace her upper lips. Lips that she hoped were there. All her life she avoided mirrors, for they reminded her that she was flawed. The first time her eyes stared into one, she had seen eyes with passion and hope despite the cleft lip. Rabbit Face, Rabbit face Each time these words were spoken she would cry to her reflection wondering why they hated her. Each time, the fire in her eyes dwindled until they were extinguished eventually. She had convinced herself that the words couldn't hurt her anymore, she wouldn't care. But she did, even more than before. The last time she saw the girl crying in the mirror was a year ago. Then, like a silent movie, it all became to come back to her, words started to fill the tune.
You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down, oh no
'Cause you are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring you down, oh
He had stroked the guitar strings gently, locking his eyes with hers and sang those words with more sincerity she had known. She knew he meant it, she knew he meant it. Keller drew her knees to her chest, letting those tears fall after what seemed like the longest time....
Ok, Just felt like writing a short story.
Sermon today was good. So, no 55kg is going to get into my head. Hah.
A wounded soul would be the hardest to repair.
But a tactless mouth is easier to change.
For attractive lips, Speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, Seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, Share your food with the hungry
-Audrey Hepburn
Share food with me!
Tho' actually, I'm really not 55 kg.
Thursday, June 14
I used to think, time was an excuse for me to hold back.
I used to think, I don't have to involve myself that much.
I used to think, I can't involve myself that much.
I used to think, there's nothing for me to do.
Now I see, two months is a very short time.
Now I see, four years was a very long time.
Now I see, A legacy to be left behind.
I used to think, I don't have to involve myself that much.
I used to think, I can't involve myself that much.
I used to think, there's nothing for me to do.
Now I see, two months is a very short time.
Now I see, four years was a very long time.
Now I see, A legacy to be left behind.
Tuesday, June 12
Its really tough trying to get people together during the holidays.
So be real touched when you receive it.
Im going to Singapore Sports School tmr.
I'll miss the world and hope that it misses me too.
Look the right!
I think Yanting's link is damn cute.
Read Kite Runner, its good.
and let's all not do holiday homework^^
So be real touched when you receive it.
Im going to Singapore Sports School tmr.
I'll miss the world and hope that it misses me too.
Look the right!
I think Yanting's link is damn cute.
Read Kite Runner, its good.
and let's all not do holiday homework^^
Thursday, June 7
When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we'll see
No I wont be afraid
Oh I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand by me
I'm starting to like my church and guitar club more and more!
Or at least starting to remember how much I liked it.
Today was the most fun I've had in practice since MrG left. Im not so sure about the up and coming concert in August/September but look, we're having fun! We should have an item to bid farewell to us, and the Guitar Lovies^^ My last performance here, under the name of CCHMS Guitar Club, I do hope the sec4s get to perform =/ I don't need an overflowing theatre, I don't need applause and regconition, I don't anyone to be a critic. I just want to enjoy every last moment of it.
So darling, darling,
Stand By Me
Oh, Stand By Me
Oh stand, Stand By me (Stand By me)
Darlin', Darlin' Stand by me this time.
Sometimes, I avoid people, because they remind me of myself. How incompetent I am. But some people are there to compliment you, to cover up in areas that you are lacking. I'm glad I know such people.
Befriend a skunk, you cover up each other well.
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we'll see
No I wont be afraid
Oh I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand by me
I'm starting to like my church and guitar club more and more!
Or at least starting to remember how much I liked it.
Today was the most fun I've had in practice since MrG left. Im not so sure about the up and coming concert in August/September but look, we're having fun! We should have an item to bid farewell to us, and the Guitar Lovies^^ My last performance here, under the name of CCHMS Guitar Club, I do hope the sec4s get to perform =/ I don't need an overflowing theatre, I don't need applause and regconition, I don't anyone to be a critic. I just want to enjoy every last moment of it.
So darling, darling,
Stand By Me
Oh, Stand By Me
Oh stand, Stand By me (Stand By me)
Darlin', Darlin' Stand by me this time.
Sometimes, I avoid people, because they remind me of myself. How incompetent I am. But some people are there to compliment you, to cover up in areas that you are lacking. I'm glad I know such people.
Befriend a skunk, you cover up each other well.
Monday, June 4
THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO _________
Hi. In the first place, I did talk to you about the incident. Or at least wanted to. Remember? But you walked away quickly, looking a little flustered half expecting thatI would read your blog. And when Huishan went to ask you about it you said I screamed at you, which I didn't. Although. I did say a pathetic one sentence that you took very harshly but trust me it was nothing compared to the "I can't believe I was _________ with her......." all that ok? It wasn't like what huishan or JianAn said that time. Yours was personal and seriously it hurts. I left it as that since I didnt think you wanted to elaborate on that and let time slowly eat away the effects of the incident. Because we still have a year ahead of us and I don't want to pass it like, you know, that. When I saw how you replied to her first post, with all the asshole and what not, I was.. shocked. I did not expect that from you. I know you won't take it lying down but that was a little overrated. And I remembered what you posted so I felt that you weren't being very.... ________ (fill in yourself, I can't think of an adjective) And since you already apologised for calling her an asshole, I dont think there's much to say about "thrashing it out now", cos it was never, NEVER, me talking about it.
What I meant by no need to justify was the fact that your post was insulting and yes, some of your actions we can see. BUT I never did comment about the flirting stuff. And I did tell her before, I don't think you are flirting with him. And mostly I dont really mind what you say in class but sometimes when we're all doing work, we hear you loud and clear from the front. What really happens I dont know, but I believe Huishan can see better and Trust me nobody wants this. And since you say you're gonna keep quiet which I think is not very necessary, you should talk but not so loudly. And now, haha, Im trying to clear and justify myself also. Everyone has different perspectives and takes on things. So I hope you don't mind me saying that cause now I understand the point you're trying to make. And one fine day, we might just be able to see each other's Point Of View.
Regardless to what you may reply, I will pretend that I don't see it and you won't be hearing any more about this from me.
Hi. In the first place, I did talk to you about the incident. Or at least wanted to. Remember? But you walked away quickly, looking a little flustered half expecting thatI would read your blog. And when Huishan went to ask you about it you said I screamed at you, which I didn't. Although. I did say a pathetic one sentence that you took very harshly but trust me it was nothing compared to the "I can't believe I was _________ with her......." all that ok? It wasn't like what huishan or JianAn said that time. Yours was personal and seriously it hurts. I left it as that since I didnt think you wanted to elaborate on that and let time slowly eat away the effects of the incident. Because we still have a year ahead of us and I don't want to pass it like, you know, that. When I saw how you replied to her first post, with all the asshole and what not, I was.. shocked. I did not expect that from you. I know you won't take it lying down but that was a little overrated. And I remembered what you posted so I felt that you weren't being very.... ________ (fill in yourself, I can't think of an adjective) And since you already apologised for calling her an asshole, I dont think there's much to say about "thrashing it out now", cos it was never, NEVER, me talking about it.
What I meant by no need to justify was the fact that your post was insulting and yes, some of your actions we can see. BUT I never did comment about the flirting stuff. And I did tell her before, I don't think you are flirting with him. And mostly I dont really mind what you say in class but sometimes when we're all doing work, we hear you loud and clear from the front. What really happens I dont know, but I believe Huishan can see better and Trust me nobody wants this. And since you say you're gonna keep quiet which I think is not very necessary, you should talk but not so loudly. And now, haha, Im trying to clear and justify myself also. Everyone has different perspectives and takes on things. So I hope you don't mind me saying that cause now I understand the point you're trying to make. And one fine day, we might just be able to see each other's Point Of View.
Regardless to what you may reply, I will pretend that I don't see it and you won't be hearing any more about this from me.
Sunday, June 3
IKea Tampines
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Courts MS Tampines
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Courts MS Tampines
Giant Tampines
MYEs
MYEs
Have a good rest my dear, it's all downhill from here.
Labels: Lost and Found Pictures
Saturday, June 2
We're all living in a web of frail harmony.
Sad to say, we have to tear it up only now.
We leave all these feelings untouched, they build up and here we are, angry and hateful. Remember Sri Lanka and N.I? Ours would be like war of the words, dagger-like words. More like battle of the blogs, I know it is juvenile, but hey look, you're not alone!
The one who loses is the one to break down and cry first? Or the one who fail to snap back a spiteful reply?
Sad to say, we have to tear it up only now.
We leave all these feelings untouched, they build up and here we are, angry and hateful. Remember Sri Lanka and N.I? Ours would be like war of the words, dagger-like words. More like battle of the blogs, I know it is juvenile, but hey look, you're not alone!
The one who loses is the one to break down and cry first? Or the one who fail to snap back a spiteful reply?