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Fondants C
Otherwise, Vanessa.
18, and learning to be it
Mail Me: creamsfondants-@hotmail.com
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Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls.
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Saturday, July 29
this is the beginning of the rest of my life. this day 290706.this is the 32nd month. this is where it all picks up again.
i feel like a new believer now, i feel rejuvinated. its just like i converted but its the silent promise of me re-commiting. the place where i find security. its feels different from the world outside that swirls. somehow, it affects how i think in and out of that door. im not living with him. i wasnt bring him to do life with me. I WANT HIM TO DO LIFE WITH ME. it was so much different with God when i was a young believer. now, im supposed to be older and wiser and yet, its far from it.
its true wht denis said. when? yes, when? perhaps i should say soon.
291103<3
i feel like a new believer now, i feel rejuvinated. its just like i converted but its the silent promise of me re-commiting. the place where i find security. its feels different from the world outside that swirls. somehow, it affects how i think in and out of that door. im not living with him. i wasnt bring him to do life with me. I WANT HIM TO DO LIFE WITH ME. it was so much different with God when i was a young believer. now, im supposed to be older and wiser and yet, its far from it.
its true wht denis said. when? yes, when? perhaps i should say soon.
291103<3
Sunday, July 23
so the hair's black,
very black.
in an unnatural sort of way.
but only the top.
hee.
stanley dyed his hair ! :DD
its makes him look younger.
hmm, arcade was fun :D
but my percusion master !
i HATE this man,
seems like i'll never stop getting unluckier for sometime. heh. what a streak of luck man. my foot's swelling. like, SWELL. and mum refuses to bring me to the doc. so i guess i'll have to go on my own or run 2.4 with that pig's trotter of mine. sheesh.
i condemn.
very black.
in an unnatural sort of way.
but only the top.
hee.
stanley dyed his hair ! :DD
its makes him look younger.
hmm, arcade was fun :D
but my percusion master !
i HATE this man,
seems like i'll never stop getting unluckier for sometime. heh. what a streak of luck man. my foot's swelling. like, SWELL. and mum refuses to bring me to the doc. so i guess i'll have to go on my own or run 2.4 with that pig's trotter of mine. sheesh.
i condemn.
Saturday, July 22
just when y0u thought it wouldnt get any worse.
DAMN, i HATE this.
i can never be more pathetic
a broken leg and 2.4 in days to come
oh Sugar Honey Ice Tea.
D:
DAMN, i HATE this.
i can never be more pathetic
a broken leg and 2.4 in days to come
oh Sugar Honey Ice Tea.
D:
Friday, July 21
its a pretty lil mess
what an annoying day it is.
im going nuts, i have gone nuts.
im broke, and negative actually, its empty
i hate school
i hate teachers
i hate lower secondaries.
no,
i discriminate them.
im not doing deco anymore !
i want to kill myself now.
or should you kill me instead.
bloody asshole, pay up.
EEKS.
what an annoying day it is.
im going nuts, i have gone nuts.
im broke, and negative actually, its empty
i hate school
i hate teachers
i hate lower secondaries.
no,
i discriminate them.
im not doing deco anymore !
i want to kill myself now.
or should you kill me instead.
bloody asshole, pay up.
EEKS.
Wednesday, July 19
lols.
sometimes, i really hate the school.
apparently their system is so disorganized and they want us to conform to their last minute changes, even if it meant burning the midnight oil and dozing off in class the next day. sheesh, wht selfish people. so fine, i want to fail the test tmr :DD but ive been working hard ! man. Sugar Honey Ice Tea. hmph. thts dumb. alrght -bangs my head
heheh. i was bored. and did this
creams.fondants@hotmail.com
do add do add.
im really sick of tht old one, so hee.
and im lazy to re add people.
so ya.
HA.
everybody, drugs are not child's play
sometimes, i really hate the school.
apparently their system is so disorganized and they want us to conform to their last minute changes, even if it meant burning the midnight oil and dozing off in class the next day. sheesh, wht selfish people. so fine, i want to fail the test tmr :DD but ive been working hard ! man. Sugar Honey Ice Tea. hmph. thts dumb. alrght -bangs my head
heheh. i was bored. and did this
creams.fondants@hotmail.com
do add do add.
im really sick of tht old one, so hee.
and im lazy to re add people.
so ya.
HA.
everybody, drugs are not child's play
Sunday, July 9
after going one whole round around, im back at where i started.
thats good because, when you make a wrong turn, u get to start all over again. here i am, starting my walk all over again. im never making detours and stopping to make a wild goose chase with no clear direction. i wont stray, i wont leave this walk in love, i wont let my compassion die and my spiritual life die along with it.
so shy guys are cute but horrid at the same time ! they make things awkard, hee. haha, how strange. -giggle giggle in a bimbotic way.
sheesh.
thats good because, when you make a wrong turn, u get to start all over again. here i am, starting my walk all over again. im never making detours and stopping to make a wild goose chase with no clear direction. i wont stray, i wont leave this walk in love, i wont let my compassion die and my spiritual life die along with it.
so shy guys are cute but horrid at the same time ! they make things awkard, hee. haha, how strange. -giggle giggle in a bimbotic way.
sheesh.
Friday, July 7
i've learnt things today :D
something our vp said when she came chit chatting in the morning. your misfortune is your own business, dont take it out on anyone, they dont owe you. ok, so i've edited it abit in the process of translation. that made good sense to me, come to think of it, have i been behaving this way?
seriously, never. i dont hate, i dont abhor people with loving fathers, i dont detest the world and everything in it, i dont take my anger and frustration out on everyone around me. all i want, was someone who would be thr and willing to listen. but even i find it hard to share some of my thoughts and feelings. thts what good bout blogging, the blog doesnt judge me, and it'll always be thr, it allows me to go on rambling non stop and no one would bother. that was all i need. so i'd rather you just dont bother and leave me be. i dont need to involve people, i dont need to get sympathy or concern. it was, after all, no one's business except mine.
mr lam showed us the i not stupid too today. beofre we left, this was what he said, "hui jia ji de gen papa mama shuo 'i love you'," haha. i wished you shut up, go on, your parents love you alrght? they care so much about your well being. does it even kill you to say that. why go make that comment. i really wished you would die, then you'll finally say that. as much as i would love to say that to him, i can't bring myself to it. the scorn that i feel towards him now. i've always known that he never bothered about my well being, never. why should i bother then? its not easy to explain but i had thought, gradually over the years, that that was it. i never held anything against him. i hardly thought about him, much less to blame him for anything. so now, i really shouldnt be bothered any more.
it didnt matter to anyone.
something our vp said when she came chit chatting in the morning. your misfortune is your own business, dont take it out on anyone, they dont owe you. ok, so i've edited it abit in the process of translation. that made good sense to me, come to think of it, have i been behaving this way?
seriously, never. i dont hate, i dont abhor people with loving fathers, i dont detest the world and everything in it, i dont take my anger and frustration out on everyone around me. all i want, was someone who would be thr and willing to listen. but even i find it hard to share some of my thoughts and feelings. thts what good bout blogging, the blog doesnt judge me, and it'll always be thr, it allows me to go on rambling non stop and no one would bother. that was all i need. so i'd rather you just dont bother and leave me be. i dont need to involve people, i dont need to get sympathy or concern. it was, after all, no one's business except mine.
mr lam showed us the i not stupid too today. beofre we left, this was what he said, "hui jia ji de gen papa mama shuo 'i love you'," haha. i wished you shut up, go on, your parents love you alrght? they care so much about your well being. does it even kill you to say that. why go make that comment. i really wished you would die, then you'll finally say that. as much as i would love to say that to him, i can't bring myself to it. the scorn that i feel towards him now. i've always known that he never bothered about my well being, never. why should i bother then? its not easy to explain but i had thought, gradually over the years, that that was it. i never held anything against him. i hardly thought about him, much less to blame him for anything. so now, i really shouldnt be bothered any more.
it didnt matter to anyone.
Wednesday, July 5
ok,
so CHUNG CHENG took part in this competition, and i sincerely hope and believe that they should go on to the next round. LINES are sadly, CLOSED. so all we can do now is pray ! GOOD LUCK!
ytd was like a living disater and seriously felt that it might be better if i didnt exsist. i dont need you, i dont need you to support me, i dont need you to provide for me, i dont need you entering and leaving my life even after u should have 9 years ago, i dont need this. i wont go stretching my hand out to you for money, i wont hate you but instead thank you, i wont call you that, you dont need it.
just dont bother about this long forgotten offspring, you have forsaken me, rmb?
so CHUNG CHENG took part in this competition, and i sincerely hope and believe that they should go on to the next round. LINES are sadly, CLOSED. so all we can do now is pray ! GOOD LUCK!
ytd was like a living disater and seriously felt that it might be better if i didnt exsist. i dont need you, i dont need you to support me, i dont need you to provide for me, i dont need you entering and leaving my life even after u should have 9 years ago, i dont need this. i wont go stretching my hand out to you for money, i wont hate you but instead thank you, i wont call you that, you dont need it.
just dont bother about this long forgotten offspring, you have forsaken me, rmb?