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Fondants C
Otherwise, Vanessa.
18, and learning to be it
Mail Me: creamsfondants-@hotmail.com
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Monday, February 28
miixedd up.
feelingg veh mixedd up now.
i am haviingg seriious mood swiings. for the past week lerh. so sowiie if i piissed u off. it wasn't intentional. thankks for puttingg upp wiith me. xt. thanks so much. teng. lame me with euur jokes. and zhen zhu!!!! she sho cutee. graciie as well. dhey are in cahoots. with xt as well. and all the jokers who made me luff.
feeliingg enthu about my cca now. i am not goiingg to pon agaiin! at least for sometym. happiie for my sis. i tou ting her on the fone last niite. indeed without god her liife seems plain and boring. she admitted it herself. she is making an effort to get to god. though wun be cuming back to hope but at least at another church serving god. but i think hope ish the best choice. cosh it fits her sleeping hours. i lurve my sis. i seriously do. i read her journal (dhose write to teacher dhose kind). i noe she loves god deeply. its relleh very touching. she had so much faith in him. putting all her trust in him. but she chose to walk away from it. she knew she would not loose him. but she lost him. she gave him up.
feeling betta since the morn. been having negative thots. now. i am assured of wad i am doing now. it is no longer a blurr. my sec tuu lifee ish picking up. feeling great. common test tmr. haven finished studying. oopsx. go piia now.
P S Y c h o d aa n c ii n gg g u ii t aa r ii s t
i am haviingg seriious mood swiings. for the past week lerh. so sowiie if i piissed u off. it wasn't intentional. thankks for puttingg upp wiith me. xt. thanks so much. teng. lame me with euur jokes. and zhen zhu!!!! she sho cutee. graciie as well. dhey are in cahoots. with xt as well. and all the jokers who made me luff.
feeliingg enthu about my cca now. i am not goiingg to pon agaiin! at least for sometym. happiie for my sis. i tou ting her on the fone last niite. indeed without god her liife seems plain and boring. she admitted it herself. she is making an effort to get to god. though wun be cuming back to hope but at least at another church serving god. but i think hope ish the best choice. cosh it fits her sleeping hours. i lurve my sis. i seriously do. i read her journal (dhose write to teacher dhose kind). i noe she loves god deeply. its relleh very touching. she had so much faith in him. putting all her trust in him. but she chose to walk away from it. she knew she would not loose him. but she lost him. she gave him up.
feeling betta since the morn. been having negative thots. now. i am assured of wad i am doing now. it is no longer a blurr. my sec tuu lifee ish picking up. feeling great. common test tmr. haven finished studying. oopsx. go piia now.
P S Y c h o d aa n c ii n gg g u ii t aa r ii s t
Sunday, February 20
i am high.
whheeex.
yeah. went service todae. finally mustered courage to tok to my pherdiie. it relleh helped me alot. i feel much betta and less stressed. should have went to her long ago. dhen i would not be in agony. wah seh. i lurve my pherd. she so understanding and nice. relleh enlightened. veh happie now. she calmed me down alot and helped me take my mind of things. it is jux so nice to tok to her. she understands wad i am going thru and helps me. i think wad she say is relleh true. very encouraged.
to think i actually went to sumone else for help. kkaes. i am dumb. it was totally useless despite everything said. it actually made me feel worse. i appreciate ur help. but it didin't help me. so sorry. u are after all not my pherd wadds. heeheex. so much less burdened.
as usual, service was great larhh. i loooove praise and worship. so shuangg lorhh. can fa xie qing qu. k larhh. was damn high jux now. funny, i felt stressless during praise and worship. so cool. i bluff mummy i go fren house study. so i made use of sumone. i feel kinda bad. jux becos i did not relleh trust her much so i make use of her. okae larhh, sorry. but all i did was to tell my mum i will be at her house wad.
wheni was going home, i realised the streets were blocked off. oh shit. how i go home. carn take bus. must take mrt lehhx. dhun wan!!!! but as everyone was going in the opposite direction to watch chingay so mrt was rather empty. so was the bus. quite cool larhh.
p ii ck ii n g u p t h e b r o k e n p ii e c e s
yeah. went service todae. finally mustered courage to tok to my pherdiie. it relleh helped me alot. i feel much betta and less stressed. should have went to her long ago. dhen i would not be in agony. wah seh. i lurve my pherd. she so understanding and nice. relleh enlightened. veh happie now. she calmed me down alot and helped me take my mind of things. it is jux so nice to tok to her. she understands wad i am going thru and helps me. i think wad she say is relleh true. very encouraged.
to think i actually went to sumone else for help. kkaes. i am dumb. it was totally useless despite everything said. it actually made me feel worse. i appreciate ur help. but it didin't help me. so sorry. u are after all not my pherd wadds. heeheex. so much less burdened.
as usual, service was great larhh. i loooove praise and worship. so shuangg lorhh. can fa xie qing qu. k larhh. was damn high jux now. funny, i felt stressless during praise and worship. so cool. i bluff mummy i go fren house study. so i made use of sumone. i feel kinda bad. jux becos i did not relleh trust her much so i make use of her. okae larhh, sorry. but all i did was to tell my mum i will be at her house wad.
wheni was going home, i realised the streets were blocked off. oh shit. how i go home. carn take bus. must take mrt lehhx. dhun wan!!!! but as everyone was going in the opposite direction to watch chingay so mrt was rather empty. so was the bus. quite cool larhh.
p ii ck ii n g u p t h e b r o k e n p ii e c e s
Saturday, February 19
u've hurt me.
[ euu ] i am sorry 4 all dhat has happened in the past.. i noe i misunderstood u... i didn't c all the evil u saw in those ppl. pls reply
[ miie ] huh. hu are u?
[ euu ] ****** i am relleh sorry since skul reopened i started to understand how u felt.and btw, i am not involved in the coins thingy. the purse is dhey ask me pass to u wan.
[ miie ] i am relleh so hurt. do u expect me to still believe u? do u think i will still trust ur words again? it might jux be another one of ur "schemes"
[ euu ] u dun believe neva mind. i jux wana apologise la i oso left that clique liao but hw do i harm u now any way? me and dhat grp of ppl are hating each other.. no one to help me.liao wad. dhen hw to hai u?sry 4 not believing u dhat tym now i noe their true colours. thx for warning me any way
[ miie ] glad u left. i am jux hurt by wad u did to me last year. and now u noe whuaii i left the clique. not bcos i scared my results affected. i hated u all dhen.
[ euu ] dats y i am sorry 4 wad i did la... regret not knowing dhem all la.. if the khoo khoo bird (ambert khoo) dun change our places dhen i die dhere liao
[ miie ] u request to change lorhh
[ euu ] hope 2. so stil frens?
[ miie ] i dhunnoe. i thinkk so.
[ euu ] :-) glad u finally accepted my apology. oki then, have a nice nite and weekend.
[ miie ] u too.
identity is a secret. haii. so luan now. do i still trust u? can i still believe? will u stab me in the heart again. will i get hurt some more? whuai did u have to msg me. i living life great without u. i dhun wan u to mess it up again. everytime i think about the past my heart hurts. it seriously does. i feel lyk crying. i am so hurt. i rather not think about it. i jux dhunnoe. burt glad to have one person less who is against me. seemed to have de jiu-ed everyone. but now i am angry. wads wrong lorhh.
i suck at guitar todayy. was not my usual standard. no wonder kena teacher. haii. but i neva go on fri b4. so dun blame me.
w a ii t ii ngg f o r t y m t o h e a l m yy h e a r t
[ miie ] huh. hu are u?
[ euu ] ****** i am relleh sorry since skul reopened i started to understand how u felt.and btw, i am not involved in the coins thingy. the purse is dhey ask me pass to u wan.
[ miie ] i am relleh so hurt. do u expect me to still believe u? do u think i will still trust ur words again? it might jux be another one of ur "schemes"
[ euu ] u dun believe neva mind. i jux wana apologise la i oso left that clique liao but hw do i harm u now any way? me and dhat grp of ppl are hating each other.. no one to help me.liao wad. dhen hw to hai u?sry 4 not believing u dhat tym now i noe their true colours. thx for warning me any way
[ miie ] glad u left. i am jux hurt by wad u did to me last year. and now u noe whuaii i left the clique. not bcos i scared my results affected. i hated u all dhen.
[ euu ] dats y i am sorry 4 wad i did la... regret not knowing dhem all la.. if the khoo khoo bird (ambert khoo) dun change our places dhen i die dhere liao
[ miie ] u request to change lorhh
[ euu ] hope 2. so stil frens?
[ miie ] i dhunnoe. i thinkk so.
[ euu ] :-) glad u finally accepted my apology. oki then, have a nice nite and weekend.
[ miie ] u too.
identity is a secret. haii. so luan now. do i still trust u? can i still believe? will u stab me in the heart again. will i get hurt some more? whuai did u have to msg me. i living life great without u. i dhun wan u to mess it up again. everytime i think about the past my heart hurts. it seriously does. i feel lyk crying. i am so hurt. i rather not think about it. i jux dhunnoe. burt glad to have one person less who is against me. seemed to have de jiu-ed everyone. but now i am angry. wads wrong lorhh.
i suck at guitar todayy. was not my usual standard. no wonder kena teacher. haii. but i neva go on fri b4. so dun blame me.
w a ii t ii ngg f o r t y m t o h e a l m yy h e a r t
Friday, February 18
w h e e.
i feel much betta.
thanks for all ur concern. sorrie bout in the morning. am still pissed with olivia. dun even noe y she angry lorhh. i am siick of going to entertain others to please dhem when they are angry. u are stressed, so am i wad. i have the right to be angry too. i can be pissed off too. u dumbo. sickening.
i was daoing everyone. dhen jux as i cooled down. i got hit again. ouch. i deproved. i scored so damn low for chinese. i got so freaked dhat i went straight home to do bi ji. dhen went to buy ci yu shou ce. i scared larhh. and i am losing faith in myself lerh lorhh. i can't seem to do all those things dhat i wanted to do. i dhun believe i can make it. am being so pessimistic now. sumtyms i feel lyk giving up. but i stil believe in god. no matter how much i dhun believe myself.
am stuffing myself with food can?? stressed wad. lyk to chew. i have eaten up all the left over new year goodies. piiggiish. yeah. and i stil rmb dhat one of my resolutions is too loose weight. okae. i lost quite alot of weight when i was sick dhat tym. now i gaiin back liaox. must jiiayous.
g o d ii f e e l e u u n o w.
thanks for all ur concern. sorrie bout in the morning. am still pissed with olivia. dun even noe y she angry lorhh. i am siick of going to entertain others to please dhem when they are angry. u are stressed, so am i wad. i have the right to be angry too. i can be pissed off too. u dumbo. sickening.
i was daoing everyone. dhen jux as i cooled down. i got hit again. ouch. i deproved. i scored so damn low for chinese. i got so freaked dhat i went straight home to do bi ji. dhen went to buy ci yu shou ce. i scared larhh. and i am losing faith in myself lerh lorhh. i can't seem to do all those things dhat i wanted to do. i dhun believe i can make it. am being so pessimistic now. sumtyms i feel lyk giving up. but i stil believe in god. no matter how much i dhun believe myself.
am stuffing myself with food can?? stressed wad. lyk to chew. i have eaten up all the left over new year goodies. piiggiish. yeah. and i stil rmb dhat one of my resolutions is too loose weight. okae. i lost quite alot of weight when i was sick dhat tym. now i gaiin back liaox. must jiiayous.
g o d ii f e e l e u u n o w.
Thursday, February 17
stress
stressed.
i am so stressed dhat i turned into a psycho. my brain is totally not functioning properly. iy shutted down during dance. the dance teacher damn guo fen. should have ponned todae. i went around hitting trees, punching poles, kicking doors, pushing people and boxing the wall. relieve stress. i am not being lame.
all the teachers are picking on me. even miss annisa. i hate skool. dhey all see me not happy one lorhh. only the eng public speaking teacher neva pick on me. and miss gan, veronica tan. even the D n T teacher picks on me. saded. i dun wan go skool. every single day is packed. monday end late, tuesday guitar, thursday FREE!! , fridayy guitar. feel lyk quiting dance. very xin ku lorhh. dance is lame. its not lyk i going syf or anething and i have to go dhere to wait until he is done with everyone dhen deal with us for 10 mins?? we wait lyk siao lorhh. didn't even dare to go get water. siick. i hate dance.
i am loosing faith in myself. i am loosing control. i am letting my emotions run wild. i am no longer confident of influencing my sis any more. ii dhun think i can make a difference. i dhun think i can do all these things dhat are expected of me. i am mentally and physically tired. i wanna give up lerhh. i need god. yet after i have finished with my day's work, i jux collapse and sleep. and i keep waking in the middle of the night. haven't been sleeping well for one week. it feels as though my spiritual life stopped. i love god. i am trying to love him more. but i can't. i jux too tired. so worn oud already. i am meant to be maturing in god. but yet, i see people who come to noe god much later dhen me leading fufiling spiritual lifes. maturing all the tym. it seems as though my tym stop and everyone is moving. i try to move more. but i jux carn.
i noe i only sec two. if i am lyk dhis now, how can i manage life ahead. i will jux die. but the thing is dhat. all sec twos are stressed. teachers carn teach properly and dhey rush through lessons dhen throw everything at us when we stil dhun understand. and i dhun thinkk having ppl around me to flood me with their stress will help either. its nod dhat i dhun lyk to help. jux dhat my brain jux carn contend it all. i get more stress each day sumone tells me how stressed dhey are. jux dhun tell me. i noe i am being selfish. but i serious;y dun wanna care any more.
it feels as though my pherdie doesnot trust me. every time i say i carn go for cg or wad, she seems kind of doubt of. i noe i discourage her alot but i dhun mean it. i relleh can't make it. i am trying my best already.
j e s u s ii n e e d e u u.
i am so stressed dhat i turned into a psycho. my brain is totally not functioning properly. iy shutted down during dance. the dance teacher damn guo fen. should have ponned todae. i went around hitting trees, punching poles, kicking doors, pushing people and boxing the wall. relieve stress. i am not being lame.
all the teachers are picking on me. even miss annisa. i hate skool. dhey all see me not happy one lorhh. only the eng public speaking teacher neva pick on me. and miss gan, veronica tan. even the D n T teacher picks on me. saded. i dun wan go skool. every single day is packed. monday end late, tuesday guitar, thursday FREE!! , fridayy guitar. feel lyk quiting dance. very xin ku lorhh. dance is lame. its not lyk i going syf or anething and i have to go dhere to wait until he is done with everyone dhen deal with us for 10 mins?? we wait lyk siao lorhh. didn't even dare to go get water. siick. i hate dance.
i am loosing faith in myself. i am loosing control. i am letting my emotions run wild. i am no longer confident of influencing my sis any more. ii dhun think i can make a difference. i dhun think i can do all these things dhat are expected of me. i am mentally and physically tired. i wanna give up lerhh. i need god. yet after i have finished with my day's work, i jux collapse and sleep. and i keep waking in the middle of the night. haven't been sleeping well for one week. it feels as though my spiritual life stopped. i love god. i am trying to love him more. but i can't. i jux too tired. so worn oud already. i am meant to be maturing in god. but yet, i see people who come to noe god much later dhen me leading fufiling spiritual lifes. maturing all the tym. it seems as though my tym stop and everyone is moving. i try to move more. but i jux carn.
i noe i only sec two. if i am lyk dhis now, how can i manage life ahead. i will jux die. but the thing is dhat. all sec twos are stressed. teachers carn teach properly and dhey rush through lessons dhen throw everything at us when we stil dhun understand. and i dhun thinkk having ppl around me to flood me with their stress will help either. its nod dhat i dhun lyk to help. jux dhat my brain jux carn contend it all. i get more stress each day sumone tells me how stressed dhey are. jux dhun tell me. i noe i am being selfish. but i serious;y dun wanna care any more.
it feels as though my pherdie doesnot trust me. every time i say i carn go for cg or wad, she seems kind of doubt of. i noe i discourage her alot but i dhun mean it. i relleh can't make it. i am trying my best already.
j e s u s ii n e e d e u u.
Tuesday, February 15
sunburnt.
ouuccchhhhh!!!!!
very paiin can? it is cao red lorhh my legs. even touch oso paiin lorhh. sun tanning. hurmphx.
tuudae had pe. dhen can see my legs. so obvious dhat it is damn red. i say xiaotian pour hot water on miie dhen still got ppl beliieve. later decided to change my storyy to she whack miie untill i turned red. cos the hot water not convincing.
have jux pang seh-ed my hw. dhere are so many thiings goiing thru my miind now dhat ii carnn thiinkk straiight. so stressed. can break down any moment. and i do not need euu to take up more space. get oudd of my head larhhx. i need to function. tomolo got test. but i left all study material in skool. i beliieve i can manage.
wana go fiind my jesus darrrhliingx. but i carn fiind my biible. i thiink i lost iit. 0ops. oh whee. todae is valentine's day. such a sad day for lonely ppl. ii have my jesus. b l e a g h x.
j e s u s myy val en t ii ne.
very paiin can? it is cao red lorhh my legs. even touch oso paiin lorhh. sun tanning. hurmphx.
tuudae had pe. dhen can see my legs. so obvious dhat it is damn red. i say xiaotian pour hot water on miie dhen still got ppl beliieve. later decided to change my storyy to she whack miie untill i turned red. cos the hot water not convincing.
have jux pang seh-ed my hw. dhere are so many thiings goiing thru my miind now dhat ii carnn thiinkk straiight. so stressed. can break down any moment. and i do not need euu to take up more space. get oudd of my head larhhx. i need to function. tomolo got test. but i left all study material in skool. i beliieve i can manage.
wana go fiind my jesus darrrhliingx. but i carn fiind my biible. i thiink i lost iit. 0ops. oh whee. todae is valentine's day. such a sad day for lonely ppl. ii have my jesus. b l e a g h x.
j e s u s myy val en t ii ne.
Sunday, February 13
surprise.
b0ox!
surpirise surprise!!!
look who turned up for service todae? miie. after faking everyone dhat i wasn't going, i turned up. chialing and her plan to deceive everyone. it was ruined.
service was great. but funny whuaii pastor the sermon is about sex. its not lyk i freaked or anething but after weeks of not going to service and this week i go and he toks about sex instead of his regular godly stuff. i am weak and feeble and fragile. please dunoe shock miie. or push miie. or abuse miie lyk wad hsiao en did. hmphx. so hurt. pherdie din cum todae. saded.
am so toasted now can? pain lehh. sunburnt. i went sun tanning in the morn before service. so now i am red. it hurts. my shoes hurted me too. so funnie when pastor say dun wear untill button the top button if u wear got collar de shirt dhen gort cartoon in front. hahahx. i was wearing the shirt got collar one marhx. dhen i button everything. dumbo can?
wheex. gotta catch up with my beauty sleep now. two days without proper sleep. *snores
surpirise surprise!!!
look who turned up for service todae? miie. after faking everyone dhat i wasn't going, i turned up. chialing and her plan to deceive everyone. it was ruined.
service was great. but funny whuaii pastor the sermon is about sex. its not lyk i freaked or anething but after weeks of not going to service and this week i go and he toks about sex instead of his regular godly stuff. i am weak and feeble and fragile. please dunoe shock miie. or push miie. or abuse miie lyk wad hsiao en did. hmphx. so hurt. pherdie din cum todae. saded.
am so toasted now can? pain lehh. sunburnt. i went sun tanning in the morn before service. so now i am red. it hurts. my shoes hurted me too. so funnie when pastor say dun wear untill button the top button if u wear got collar de shirt dhen gort cartoon in front. hahahx. i was wearing the shirt got collar one marhx. dhen i button everything. dumbo can?
wheex. gotta catch up with my beauty sleep now. two days without proper sleep. *snores
Saturday, February 12
empty.
the streets are empty.
quiet and some how deserted.
shops are closed. and the wind is blowing gently on ur face.
ahh. how niicee.
no one to kajiao euu.
fallen leaves strewn all over the ground.
rusting in the wind.
crushing under euur feet as euu walk.
dhat lasted for 5 mins only. back in the real wurld.
b0oh0ox. last min cannot go service. saded. todae was my turn to present for public speaking. i was shaking. relleh veh nervous. and the only funny thing abt my script was the part contributed by wai teng:
we should not obey school rules. if we obey school rules, then the pupil's council and discipline master/mistress would have nothing to do. the councilers will be stripped off their posts and the discipline master would be sacked as they are idling around. Singapore has many schools, if we obey the school rules and the discipline masters get sacked, then this will increase the unemployment rate in singapore.
excerpt from verniiesahh's cue card.
hahahx. dhat was so lamee. but it got me great response. happie with my performance. if only i didn't shake so muchh. xt and wai teng had great topics. but dhey dun wana speak up!!! can't hear xt. wt can hear larhh but was monotone. and soft and no eye contact. saddening. but i didn't make eye contact either.
got back maths test paper todayy. seventeen half. i am contended. it is over twenty five kaes. i sucked for my science quiz can? eww. it gives me the creeps jux thinking of it. todae was still in the festive m0od. so sad, have to go school. but quite slack todayy.
i have physic powers!!!! rmb dhat tym when i lost my voice? ambert khoo and valentino made fun of me?? well, dhey lost their voice too!!!! i am so happy. protected by god. x))
quiet and some how deserted.
shops are closed. and the wind is blowing gently on ur face.
ahh. how niicee.
no one to kajiao euu.
fallen leaves strewn all over the ground.
rusting in the wind.
crushing under euur feet as euu walk.
dhat lasted for 5 mins only. back in the real wurld.
b0oh0ox. last min cannot go service. saded. todae was my turn to present for public speaking. i was shaking. relleh veh nervous. and the only funny thing abt my script was the part contributed by wai teng:
we should not obey school rules. if we obey school rules, then the pupil's council and discipline master/mistress would have nothing to do. the councilers will be stripped off their posts and the discipline master would be sacked as they are idling around. Singapore has many schools, if we obey the school rules and the discipline masters get sacked, then this will increase the unemployment rate in singapore.
excerpt from verniiesahh's cue card.
hahahx. dhat was so lamee. but it got me great response. happie with my performance. if only i didn't shake so muchh. xt and wai teng had great topics. but dhey dun wana speak up!!! can't hear xt. wt can hear larhh but was monotone. and soft and no eye contact. saddening. but i didn't make eye contact either.
got back maths test paper todayy. seventeen half. i am contended. it is over twenty five kaes. i sucked for my science quiz can? eww. it gives me the creeps jux thinking of it. todae was still in the festive m0od. so sad, have to go school. but quite slack todayy.
i have physic powers!!!! rmb dhat tym when i lost my voice? ambert khoo and valentino made fun of me?? well, dhey lost their voice too!!!! i am so happy. protected by god. x))
Thursday, February 10
chinese new year.
b0ox!
chinese new year tudae. my father speeds. was afraid i wouldn't come home alive. he doesn't touch the steering wheel one, can? dangerous lehh. granddmother make miie eat again. (jux lyk chialing) budd i ate lerhh. totally bloated can. and i do eat.
love is...
an excuse to fill up the emptiness in u. at our age. i believe love is totally useless. apart from family and godd's love. everythingg else is crap can. bearing dhat in mind i said byee byee to my last crush longg looongg ago. now alongg comes another one. not a crush. not yet. now is not a tym to lyk others. am trying to be sensible. going to forget him.
yea. forgotten.
dhat day heard sumone saying zhong zheng hao... hehehx. i guess zhong zhengg rawkkx. x))
i lurbe chuungg chengg. din go back st margs. yesterday. feel kinda bad. but will have a chance sooner or later. chung cheng was my daddie's skool. yea, until he kena expelled when he sec 4 lorhh. dhis year he spent chinese new year eve with us. i can't say i hate my daddie for divorcing my mum or anythingg larhh. it was great dhey divorced. but the way he had treated my mumsey before. i jus dun relleh lyk him can? i lurve my mumsey. he hurt her. i have lost all faith in love. hahahx. dhats exaggeratingg. feeling quite lamified now.
i loove my sis too. in dhis recent journal writting work gave by miss annisa...
who or what has influenced u the most? give examples to explain why this is so. withoudd givingg much thought. i decided to write about her. relleh, she has influnced me the most. religiously.. and all those small lil things lyk watching tv and stuff. but she has chamged so much. driftedaway from god so much. i wrote all these inside. of cos in perfect english and longer larhh. miss annisa rawks can? she totallie understands even when she is a muslim. she wrote there. people who have drifted away from god will need sumtym to ...(forgotten=p) simply encouraging me to put in effort to bring my sis back to godd. i will give my best larhh.
whee. i can go service dhis week.!!!!! x))).
chinese new year tudae. my father speeds. was afraid i wouldn't come home alive. he doesn't touch the steering wheel one, can? dangerous lehh. granddmother make miie eat again. (jux lyk chialing) budd i ate lerhh. totally bloated can. and i do eat.
love is...
an excuse to fill up the emptiness in u. at our age. i believe love is totally useless. apart from family and godd's love. everythingg else is crap can. bearing dhat in mind i said byee byee to my last crush longg looongg ago. now alongg comes another one. not a crush. not yet. now is not a tym to lyk others. am trying to be sensible. going to forget him.
yea. forgotten.
dhat day heard sumone saying zhong zheng hao... hehehx. i guess zhong zhengg rawkkx. x))
i lurbe chuungg chengg. din go back st margs. yesterday. feel kinda bad. but will have a chance sooner or later. chung cheng was my daddie's skool. yea, until he kena expelled when he sec 4 lorhh. dhis year he spent chinese new year eve with us. i can't say i hate my daddie for divorcing my mum or anythingg larhh. it was great dhey divorced. but the way he had treated my mumsey before. i jus dun relleh lyk him can? i lurve my mumsey. he hurt her. i have lost all faith in love. hahahx. dhats exaggeratingg. feeling quite lamified now.
i loove my sis too. in dhis recent journal writting work gave by miss annisa...
who or what has influenced u the most? give examples to explain why this is so. withoudd givingg much thought. i decided to write about her. relleh, she has influnced me the most. religiously.. and all those small lil things lyk watching tv and stuff. but she has chamged so much. driftedaway from god so much. i wrote all these inside. of cos in perfect english and longer larhh. miss annisa rawks can? she totallie understands even when she is a muslim. she wrote there. people who have drifted away from god will need sumtym to ...(forgotten=p) simply encouraging me to put in effort to bring my sis back to godd. i will give my best larhh.
whee. i can go service dhis week.!!!!! x))).
Friday, February 4
tests.
wah seh so many tests dhis week.
so happie history test post poned. hehehx. guess is god trying to help me. dun feel lyk studying for chi. anewae. it would be kinda hard to fail oso. now doing english hw. hai ya. will go study soon. sooner or later.
went to temasek poly todae. it was huge. so beeg. hehehx. travel so long juz to hear joy tokk for awhile. but neva mind cos our school was plaeing against pasir ris sec. so can watch. hmm. dhey won!!! so happie. but guess dhey on steriods der. so siao lorhh. dhat tym dhey run lake five tyms still can cheoin. li hai. was watching halfway when other chung cheng ppl came. obviously i am taller dhen dhem cos i managed to block dheir view. =x. left soon after.
hmm. can't relleh think straight now. and oh no!!! i neva do my eng public speaking yet. ooops. oh no. yea. got to go now.
so happie history test post poned. hehehx. guess is god trying to help me. dun feel lyk studying for chi. anewae. it would be kinda hard to fail oso. now doing english hw. hai ya. will go study soon. sooner or later.
went to temasek poly todae. it was huge. so beeg. hehehx. travel so long juz to hear joy tokk for awhile. but neva mind cos our school was plaeing against pasir ris sec. so can watch. hmm. dhey won!!! so happie. but guess dhey on steriods der. so siao lorhh. dhat tym dhey run lake five tyms still can cheoin. li hai. was watching halfway when other chung cheng ppl came. obviously i am taller dhen dhem cos i managed to block dheir view. =x. left soon after.
hmm. can't relleh think straight now. and oh no!!! i neva do my eng public speaking yet. ooops. oh no. yea. got to go now.